*Just a little Abstract Thinking*

Sweet baby Jesus... Its been a long time.
Well... sometimes we all need breaks.. and mine was well deserved. I needed to take the necessary steps to get some stability back into my life. I think I'm finally getting there.. once again!

So enuff about me... or maybe not enuff (as I havent gotten to my point yet)

You know... I've recently realized how much I've grown as a person. I always fashioned myself to be a lady and to be very mature but so much has happend lately that it has truly tested me. So many situations have happend and I've come thru with flying colors.

Situation One: Family Issues

Now it may not necessarily be MY family, per se but it is someones family. I had to realize that no matter what, even if someone does not respect you or what you have.. you dont stoop to their level with them. You never let someone take you out of character or rob you of your spirit. Nobody what negativity someone is throwing your way you never let it be know that they've gotten to you. I love the people that I'm taking about.. mainly becuz they are apart of someone that I love. And they can hate me, wanna see me fail... WHATEVA! I love them... and one day, I hope we can all resolve the issues that we have with each other

Situation Two: Love

Now this is a situation that runs deep with me. I've been through so much recently and I've heard about so many other people discovering the real meaning of love. Love (in my definition) is NOT something that can be easily summed up or easily described. Its a feeling! A beautiful feeling... but everyone expects love to just HAPPEN. And it doesn't. Its a mixture of destiny and whatever you put into it. Im in love... it has been the hardest thing that I've ever done. It has taken me up && down... in circles.. squares.. all types of contortions. But, I can honestly say that I believe this love that I share is genuine.. on both sides. I always thought that I wanted to get married.. and I still do..

BUT

it will be a long time & alot of my friends have been the inspiration for that decision. Not that I dont love my married friends, I do. Very much so but they have showed me why getting married early may not be a good thing. I am in no rush to end what I have... and I am in no rush to be divorced. Nor am I in a rush to have kids. I am enjoying this time that I am having with my boyfriend. We have no worries and no responsibilites and we enjoy that. We dont have to "stay together for the kids" or have to worry about what happens if it doesnt last... we are free to just BE. I've learned so much about myself thru him. And not that he made me anything, becuz he hasnt made me do anything but become a responsible adult. There are things that he does that piss me off.. things that make me emotional but at the end, I have to realize that I am not the only person that feels or that is in this. I have a partner in my relationship

So many people in this world give up too easily or are way to selfish. If you want something, you demand it. If you don't, you dont do it. plain and simple. Im just getting tired of blaming people or giving out tired ass excuses for why they do the things that they do. Be honest! And be a man or a woman about it.

Follow my lead...