*If I woulda known the boy next door woulda been you....*

I know its been a nice little minute since I lasted blogged but... I think this occasion warrants a blog...




Have you ever had a friend who you've had that "something" with??



Like one of those friends that you've been close with for so long && you know u feel some type of way but the timing is either off -or- other thing prevent you from acting on what u truly feel. And its crazy becuz the feelings are there.. the chemistry is there but neither acts on it.
What happens when one person does act on it? Can the friendship ever go back or does it just get better from that point on??
Thats my internal conflict rite now... I cant even begin to describe how I feel about my Navahoe. One person that I've been so cool with for such a long time && am soooo immensly attracted to, the proper words cant really express how much he really means to me. I know that I dont show it sometimes but I just choose to stay away becuz I dont wanna get hurt. I mean, is it so wrong to hold someone at arms length for those reasons?? Its been many times where I've just wanted to scream it out loud but... I can't. I dont wanna be just one of those others girls. I like to think Im more than that. Yes, closed mouths dont get fed but I think my taste buds have been quenched for a long time! LOL... I know it may sound greedy, but im down for seconds.. thirds.. desserts.. midnite snacks...LOL. He's one of the only friends I can say that truly has my best interest at heart, I believe. Not to mention that I've known him for a while... its been a while. I first met him when I picked my sister up from his house once (his bro && my sis were BFF's). I can remember him coming to the door and he didnt say much, but my sister wanted to hook me up with him for soooo long! I was young, he looked like a geek... I wasn't interested then. High School changed that... he wasn't Lil Ju Ju so much anymore... his innocence was fading & I kinda wanted to be the one to take it :). Good thing I wasnt... I dont think I would have the impression of him as I do now... he's great at what he does. Adulthood brought greater challenges && even for the year that we barely spoke, he constantly kept up with me. It wasnt that I didnt wanna speak to him -but- I knew that talking to him && being in a relationship wasnt gonna work. Plus, he talks to everybody && I dont want or need that drama. But now, Im to the point where I dont care. 'Cuz at the end of the day... he's gonna be my friend. He's there when I need && want him to be. He's just not emotionally there rite now... and I hate it. So much that it makes me emotional. I dont regret anything that happend... but my feelings are clearly involved

I just wish I would known that boy woulda been YOU.....




Current tunes: Hunt for you by Teairra Mari && Pleasure P "Tell me what i gotta do.. the walls I gotta break thru... that lead me rite back to you..."